Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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