I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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