I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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