Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
My breasts were aching with rage.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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