wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
