I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Vodka?
Forever.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
