i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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