i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
