I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
