i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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