On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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