the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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