i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
