Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
