I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
