Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
