We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
