Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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