that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
