scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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