Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Farmville is her only friend.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
