I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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