One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
