i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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