You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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