is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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