I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
