they need to just BURY HIM!
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize