i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
