so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
