u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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