butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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