just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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