feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
