i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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