do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I think I just sharted jello shots
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