Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
