i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
