The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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