She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Every concussion has its silver lining
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
