She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize