i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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