they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
