I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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