My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
