butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Randomize
