In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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