highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Randomize