So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize