I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
