after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
