did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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