My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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