I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
