I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
