we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize