Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
